her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
