i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
