Someone shit on the floor
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
