..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
