my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wish there were birth control emojis
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
