oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
