Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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