I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I will be naked everywhere
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
