Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
