At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Your cock deserves a montage
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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