so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
