well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
