I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
