my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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