I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
