Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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