There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
