After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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