If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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