OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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