Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
