Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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