great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
