is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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