yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
