singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do vagina's smell?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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