I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
