If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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