OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
