I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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