She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
