hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
