the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
