she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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