Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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