'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
