she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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