Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
