even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
