She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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