There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
