its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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