I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
