my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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