I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
