is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
