it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
