Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
