Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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