Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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