You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My vagina just recognized that song.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
